Question:
My dog currently sleeps with me in my bed and has so for the past 3 years (he’s 4 years old). My girlfriend does not want him to sleep in the bedroom at all when we get married and move into a new place. The question is – would it be better to transition the dog when we move into the new place, since we would be starting fresh with a new bed/bedroom/apartment, etc and the dog isn’t being kicked out of the bed he’s slept in for 3 years OR is it better to start training him now in my current apartment so he will be already adjusted for the new place?
Thanks!
Answer:
When you’re lover of a dog and a woman, you have a dilemma when your acceptance of a dog in the bed is not agreeable to your mate.
I want to give you a bit of wisdom about human love and love of animals. You must not confuse the two. God gave us both: a dog, man’s best friend, and woman to be our help-mate. The Bible clearly places the woman as a priority to be respected as an equal partner. There are also references to us caring for His animals, too.
Here is what you should contemplate: will your more free-style manner of housing your pets interfere with or cause strife between you and your partner? I have seen many cases of stress and tension in relationships from this conflict. (I have seen a few marriages end from this conflict as well.) Often when the dog enters my facility, it is acting out in aggressive ways, all due to the tension in the household over the dog.
My message is this…make sure you and she discuss this and can come to an agreement/compromise about how your dog will be treated. You wouldn’t want your dog to end up being pushed slowly out of the house altogether and into a backyard kennel.
If a change in the dog’s sleeping arrangements upsets you, then your dog will notice and react to your anxiety. However, if you two can come to a mutually agreeable decision and you can accept the change, then your dog will handle it just fine. Start now. Make the change pleasant. No yelling can be in the training.
First, select a place for Fido to sleep in another room with his own comfy bed. Put a 6’ leash on him every evening before bed. Have your good treats ready! When he gets on the bed, lightly grab the leash and say “OFF” and lightly lead him with the leash to the new spot. Then give him the treat and praise him. Plan to continue this over and over all night. Treat every time. As soon as he gets off the bed and you lead him to the other place — treat there as well.
Don’t give up. You’re patience is required to make this work. Your dog will NOT be jealous or vindictive when you do this right.
By the way, DO NOT close your bedroom door! Locking him out will not change the behavior and may well keep you awake from the scratching and whining.
You MUST help your dog accept his new place because it’s a better place than before. (Treats make this connection in their brains.)
Next, have your girlfriend visit with treats in hand every time. When she is going to visit, don’t feed your dog until she walks into the room. Even better, have her walk in and go right to the kitchen, get the bowl, and hand-feed your boy. She may not like that one — but if you want a happy life with a wife and a dog, I recommend these things.
Best to you all. My prayers are with you.
K9-Jack
Longshot Farms